Once A Month
by idpaintballer
Summary: Rocket made a promise with himself on a personnel matter that he would take care of once a month. What happens when he takes care of that matter and ends up not only causing himself harm but also gaining the disgust of a certain Lord. I know, summery really sucks.


Once a month. That was the agreement that I made with myself when I first started this. I would find somewhere away from Groot for a few minutes and get it done at first but then I just waited until he was sleeping and now I just don't care. We've been working side by side for some 4 years now and he does things in front of me that I find disgusting, like drinking fountain water, and eating little sprouts that come off of his shoulders and well, for me, the habit is more of a personal one. I normally never admit about my personal life but along with the auto theft and other charges you'll find a couple counts of public masturbation on my record. Hey, what can I say? Some people smoke, some people chew, some people cheat, I just smack one off in public once in a while. I often complain to the Nova Corps about being the only one arrested for playing with wood in public while Groot gets away with it and they kindly remind me that he is a tree. They just never see the humor in what I'm trying to do.

It's now been over a month and I had to do the normal routine in jail this time. Once again, my mouth and hands got me in trouble as I broke into someone's craft and stole a few things. What can I do, my hands are sensitive and I see with them; I am part raccoon after all. I'm with Groot in a plaza scanning for bounties and trash talking those that walk by. A Nova Corps walks by and just glares at me when I compare his possible sex life with something like dropping a piece of trash into a trash can. There isn't anything he can do and he knows it, speech is free after all. I do another scan and that's when my scanner goes off. The person is on the second level so I start scanning up there and come across Peter Quill. I about shit myself when I see the bounty; 40,000 units. "Groot, we're going to be rich!" I about scream as I turn around to find my tree like friend in a fountain with a mouth full of water. All I can do is shake my head.

We give chase and realize that we are not alone. This green skinned broad must be another bounty hunter who is after the same one that I am. I don't think she'll get far with the weaponry that she seems to be lacking. Before long, Peter is running away from us. Only thing I can think is one shot and he'll be ours. I don't care if it is in a crowded plaza or not, I've been arrested before for this so it wouldn't be the first time and I know it won't be the last. I take the shot and smile as Peter falls to the ground twitching. Just as I take a step forward I feel myself lift off the ground. "Shit." is the only thing I can think. I look around and see that Peter is being picked up off the ground, the green skinned woman being helped up, as well as Groot is in the same predicament as I am. Once again, off we go to jail. Damn Nova Corps.

Processing, at the Kyln, all I can say is fun. Nothing better than being stripped down to nothing, washed down with a hose, then being forced into a cell where we sleep in a pile. At least this time I know a couple others here this time. Night came and of course I'm woke up by Quill going somewhere. Off in the distance I can hear screaming and make the connection that the screaming is coming from the green skinned woman. Great. Just when I was getting some good sleep I'm woke by some humies and their problems.

Finally, after an eventful day we're out of there. Never thought I would be so happy to be around humans. Even Groot was happy to be out of there. It's getting close to a month and I can feel it starting to build. The pain is all too well known but being on a ship this small with this many people means either I pull it out in front of everyone else or I wait for them to sleep. Problem is, they don't sleep all at once. They sleep in shifts. It's finally between shifts of them sleeping and I figure I can take care of it in under 5 minutes. I go up to the bridge and find no one but Groot sitting in a chair. "I am Groot?" I hear from my side as I unzip things. "Yeah, and? It's totally natural." I say in frustration before I get a feeling that I'm being watched. "Whoa Rocket, put that thing away!" I hear Quill say from behind me. Of course, I ignored his warning that we weren't alone. I shake my head and zip things back up before giving him the eyes that are pretty much begging for forgiveness. "It already looks like a Jackson Pollock painting downstairs but up here is off limits." he says with a stern voice before sitting down at the controls. I just sigh and hop down. "There, command is now yours." I say as I go off to find somewhere private to do the deed.

I finally find a storage room. Private, confined, perfect. I unzip things and relish in the feeling of the cool air hitting things down there. "Ohhhh yeah." I moan out as I run a finger along the already hardening shaft. "I am Groot." I hear again. I realized that the door is open and I don't care at this point. I just have to get this done. It's getting painful again and that is not something I want to live with any longer. I wrap my hand around it and start pumping in a slow motion. "Ugh Rocket, at least close the door." I hear Gamora say before the door goes closed. "Oh well, her loss." I say as I continue on doing what I was doing. "Littlest one, why are you tugging on that?" I hear from beside me. I sigh and realize that what I thought was a storage room was just a room and now I have to explain to Drax what I am doing. "What, you've never heard of pulling one off before?" I say, irritation clear in my voice. "Pulling one off? You have more than one of those?" he says with his head tilted to the side. I just rub my eyes in frustration. I forgot, this guy is so literal that it is not worth it to try and explain what I am doing. I close things up and leave the room. "Tonight, when everyone is asleep and it is only me awake, that's it." I say to myself as I walk to the sleeping quarters that I share with Groot and the Star-Lord.

Everyone has shared sleeping quarters. I share my with Quill and Groot, Drax shares with Gamora, it's a good arrangement because Groot and I fit in one room easily and the larger one goes to Gamora and Drax because they sleep at the same time; leaving Groot and I up at the same time since we work together as one. I walk into my room, crawl into my hammock and lay on my back. Closing my eyes I take a long blink before looking around. Groot already turned the lights down and is laying across the floor. Below me is Quill's bed. Knowing where I am now this thing probably glows bright when someone walks up to it with a black light. I shake my head at that thought. "That guy's got issues." I say before getting a confirming nod from Groot. With that, I decide to call it a night and turn the rest of the lights off.

It's strange when we say "night" because we are really just talking about a 12 hour cycle that we put on ourselves so when we are on a planet we don't have to fight to sleep. I have the usual nightmares of being experimented on; typical from what I've been through in my life. It comes as part of my history as a result from a failed experiment that was just left out to die but beat the odds. "Okay furry one, your watch." I hear as the door opens. I look up and see Quill standing there. "Hope you took care of things down here." he says with a smile. "Like I'd tell you." I say, pretty much spitting in his face. I can only smile when I see him wince. It makes me feel bigger than I really am.

Groot and I get to the bridge and I look around. We are alone up there so I take the opportunity and unzip things. "I am Groot." I hear from behind me. I can only smile as that is all I needed to know. We really are alone and everyone is sleeping. I unzip things and reach down, running a finger along the sheath as I feel it starting to get hard. "Oh yeah." I say with a breath filled tone and I already know at this time that Groot has turned his head. He doesn't like watching and I know it. I wrap my fingers around it and my mind almost instantly explodes. The sensations from both the sensitive fingers along with the sensitivity of my shaft just make both my heads hurt and I can already tell this one is probably going to be a little more explosive than normal as well as shorter than normal. "Oh I hope I at least get some pleasure from this." I say to myself. "I am Groot?" I hear from behind me. "Yeah, I know, it hasn't been that long." I say as I start rubbing faster and harder.

I know I've been going for a while so I look over my shoulder and look at the clock. Sure enough, it's been nearly 20 minutes. "Groot, get the cup." I say as I feel it getting closer. I can almost feel it in my tail the orgasm is so strong as I let go. "Ohhh yeahhh." I moan one last time as I look at my handy work. "We should hide this from Star-Lord incase he comes up here. I'll launch it out the air lock later." I say to myself as I look down and sigh. I reach down and start to clean things up when I feel a tightening feeling. "Oh shit, cup, hand me the cup!" I about scream to Groot but it's too late. I not only get an eye full but it also hits the control panel. "Oh, not good." I say to myself as I rush to clean things up and look at the clock. It's getting close to time for changing over and I know that Quill is next on shift.

An hour later and I hear someone walk up behind me. "Bedtime buddy." I hear. Letting out a sigh I jump down off the chair and let Quill take his place. I leave the cockpit and go to the stairs. "Hn, he didn't finish his milk." I hear and my heart drops. "Oh, that's bad." I hear a few seconds later and I can't help but laugh on the inside. "Drink up humie." I say under my breath as I walk to the sleeping quarters and hear Peter walk past me. I see the cup in his hand and watch him as he dumps it down the sink and rinses it out. I can't help but smile. "Look, I have a feeling of what that was. It better not look like a Jackson Pollock painting up there." he says looking down at me. I can't help but laugh as hard as the time he proclaimed that he has a plan. "Rocket, don't do that again. It's called respect." he says before walking off back to the cockpit. "Littlest one, what was he going on about." I hear Drax ask from behind me. "Oh, nothing. He just got a taste of his own medicine." I say before realizing that he wouldn't get it. "His own medicine, why wouldn't he already know what that tastes like?" Drax says. I just wave it off and go back to my sleeping area and lay down in my hammock.

"Last night was great." I say to no one in particular only to have Groot nod in agreement. Nothing happened and I was able to take care of my problem. "Maybe I won't wait a full month before the next time." I say. "I am Groot." I hear. "Yeah, I know, my agreement was once a month but it said nothing about making it more often." I say with a tooth filled smile knowing that in a matter of a couple months if I worked on it every other day the upper deck could match the lower deck. "Let's just hope he doesn't get a black light." I say, laughing before falling asleep.

"Wake up, you've got 2 hours before you're up." I hear from the door. I look up and see Quill standing in the door. "Ugh, my eye. Why does it hurt so bad?" I say. He walks closer and takes a step back. "Well, looks like the control panel wasn't the only thing that was hit. Looks like pink eye." he says with a laugh. How the fuck can anyone laugh about pink eye. "Just great. I guess this is what I had coming, literally." I laugh as I get up and look in the small mirror that we have in our room. Sure enough, my right eye is red and irritated. "Perfect. He wasn't kidding." I say. I remember pink eye when I was in prison once. It wasn't fun, it wasn't fun at all and I'm going to have to work with this tonight.

I step out and am greeted by Gamora and Drax looking at me. "Wow, he wasn't kidding. I hope it's just irritation from what happened last night." Gamora says. "Littlest one, why did you aim for your own eye?" Drax says, doing his best not to laugh. "Piss off." is all I can say as I walk into the shower room to wash up so I at least don't feel dirty. "Yeah, I'm going to make it look like someone shot things up with a paintball gun up there." I say as the door closes behind me.


End file.
